My Soul

why is this so hard for me?
why is he saying and doing things like this?
i have to decide... but is there really a decision i can make?
he just said some things, he says to every girl (i think)... it doesn't mean anything! i mean, okay, maybe it means satisfaction or no satisfaction...
for him, it's a quest, i think... I'm the quest... i'm this little girl he wants... because he's someone, who really wants IT all the time... and he almost got me.... but he didn't get me... so he tries, so long, 'till he HAS me! and whats happening afterwards?? i dunno...
for me, it would be a life changing experience... i wouldn't be the girl, i used to be... i wouldn't be the little girl, i would be an adult (in a way)... there would be a bond 'till we're dead... 'cause it would be the first time... and every time afterwars would be compared with it...
i'm thinking too much! it won't happen the way, i imagine... no matter which way i imagine it...
maybe it'll happen, maybe not...

JUST DON'T THINK!
(and don't tell....)