My Soul

i knew, it wouldn't be over.... and it's not!
well, okay.... i'm happy for them! i honestly am!
i want to have somebody to love.... somebody, who loves me.
this hit me yesterday, while we were sitting in a bar and everybody had somebody to dance with, to kiss, t talk... i was just sitting there and was kinda depressed :(
my friend went to him afterwards and asked, if somebody wanted to come with her. i said no.
i've decided to see less of him, so i won't crave for the physical stuff...
i don't know, why i always think of him, when i'm thinking of it. maybe, because i kinda trust him, he's a friend of mine. maybe, because i almost did it with him. maybe, because i liked the one night, when he hold me so tight in his arms, even thought my friend was lying on the other side if him. i like it, when he looks at me and i'm too shy and have to look somewhere else. because there's this air around his eyes. it says something like "i wanted it. we'll have it. i like you. it's sweet, that u r so unexperienced."
okay, it sounds very bad.
i am NOT in love with him! i am defenitely NOT!!!